Parenting Woes

by pushxitxallxaway

Parents out there:

My seven year old son is in first grade and they do red, yellow, green, and blue days. Red means you did something very bad, yellow means you got alot of warnings but you didn’t correct your actions, green means you did a very good job and had a great day, blue means you went above and beyond expectations and was helpful or did something nice for someone. For the 3 or 4 weeks prior to this week, Noah got all green days, not a single yellow. This week he’s gotten two yellows. Yesterday was his second so I got mean. I took his TV away and had a very stern talk with him about being on his best behavior at school and focusing on his work and no one else (he has ADHD but is on medicine for it and I refuse to use that as an excuse). He, of course, was really upset. He also lied to me about his yellow day on Monday. He said it was because this one girl at his table was calling him a name and he was telling her to stop. I wrote a note to the teacher addressing this name calling issue and she wrote me back stating that it wasnt just that, but that he was yelling across the room, being disruptive during her instruction time, etc. He got the playstation taken away for 2 weeks for not telling the truth. 

Here is the issue. I am a very easy going mom when he’s making good choices and is respectful. When he isnt, Im a bit of a hardass. I sometimes feel like I over punish him. I expect alot from him and maybe I expect too much. He is only seven years old, he’s a little guy, and he cant know the right way until he makes mistakes and learns from them. At the same time, he knows the rules and he knows the right way to act and when he chooses not to follow through with that, I make it a big deal in hopes he understands that it’s bad. I know children are impulsive and I dont expect a perfectly well behaved child who never messes up, I just want him to do well in school. 

I dont want him to be like me when I was younger. Afraid of not being good enough to live up to my parents expectations (they were great parents, btw.. no complaints.. but I wanted to please them a little too much). Parenting is hard. I hope I dont mess him up too bad. He’s such a great little boy and even though he struggles with his ADHD and his impulsiveness, he is wonderful.